In the Name of Allāh.
Have you read the book, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People? This impactful book focuses on universal principles and paradigms of effectiveness, offering practices that transition individuals from dependence and independence to interdependence. Habit 4 therein, “Think Win-Win,” emphasizes that “In the long run, if it isn’t a win for both of us, we both lose. That’s why win-win is the only real alternative in interdependent realities.”
When we relate this concept to marital relationships, it’s evident that a marriage thrives when both partners collaborate as a team to create a beautiful life together, prioritizing collective success over individual scorekeeping. A strong marriage cannot be built by one partner alone, especially if the other is intent on undermining it. It’s essential to remember that you are not in your marriage to compete with your spouse.
Importantly, a blissful marriage does not hinge on having a large home, a perfect partner, or a luxurious car. You can possess all these material comforts and still find yourselves in a discontented marriage. Instead, true happiness in marriage stems from two connected hearts that fear Allāh, exhibit honesty, demonstrate unwavering commitment, and share a selfless love that surpasses any worldly possessions.
The three indicators of a thriving marriage are Peace (a restful mind and sense of security), Affection (kind treatment that fosters love), and Mercy (fairness in interactions). These elements must be reciprocated by both partners. Allāh states: “And among His Signs is this, that He created for you wives from among yourselves, that you may find repose in them, and He has put between you affection and mercy. Verily, in that are indeed signs for a people who reflect.” [Sūrah Ar-Room (30): 21] Additionally, when it comes to enjoying each other intimately, Allāh employs the metaphor of clothing: “They are Libās for you and you are the same for them.” [Sūrah Al-Baqarah (2): 187]
A “Win-Win” scenario occurs when couples strive for mutual benefit in their relationship. When challenges arise, they seek resolutions that are genuinely rewarding for both partners. Achieving this requires high levels of consideration, generosity, and a sense of companionship. By making emotional deposits instead of withdrawals, they cultivate stronger, more trusting bonds.
Alḥamdulillāh, experiencing my husband’s support in all my endeavors while remaining within Allāh’s Boundaries is indeed a “Win-Win.” May Allāh continually bless us. My dear brethren, “Think Win-Win” is more than a catchy phrase from a book; it is the key to unlocking a lifetime of marital joy. It resembles a tandem bicycle, which necessitates teamwork from both riders.
I beseech Allāh to bless our marriages and and instill cooperation and harmony between us and our spouses. Aameen.
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